You don't see someone for a long time and you dread the moment that you might see them

And then you see them and you mind basically goes ahjdfakjlfgiewughqerkjhf and then blank.

I'm in a weird situation. For months now I've been in love with this guy who has a girlfriend and who's getting way close to me (that is, considering the amount of time we've been talking) and who I think is interested in me but won't do anything because he has a girlfriend.

And he's leaving. In a couple of months. To study abroad.

Deja vu much?

He's been asking me lately why I've been dressing up more at tango. Last time he was pretty insistent even though I was talking with a friend until I turned around and calmly looked him in the eye and said "It's none of your business," and turned my back to him.

And yesterday I was at a milonga and I was dancing and suddenly I open my eyes and there is Tony, few meters away, chatting with the woman he was dancing. And I think for a moment I really did lose my capacity to think.

It wasn't until a couple of dances later that I brought my self to wave at him - I don't think he had seen me until then.

And after that I lost him in the crowd.

And he messaged me today. And for a moment I couldn't breathe.

I knew that feeling the moment I felt it.

It's called unfinished business.

Oh fuck me.