Theory #24

  You may things have not changed, caught up as you are in your hectic life, but they are shifting around you. 
  Until, suddenly, you stop and realise nothing's the way you remembered.

  I'm not sure where to begin. Or what to say for that matter. I'm not sure what has changed or when, all I know is that nothing feels the same and yet they seem that way.
  Things with Ellie... they feel tight somehow, wrong. I'm being the coward, not facing the problem, not saying a word. I should say something. Before I leave for New York. Then maybe she'll have time to think things over while I'm gone. Or I will. i'm not quite sure which one of us is the one who has to do the thinking. Maybe we're just drifting apart, the way people sometimes do. Perhaps it's only natural and unstoppable but I'm not sure I'm fond of the idea that we're no the ones shaping our future.
  It feels too much as an excuse and too much as a reason to give up.

   As for Tony... I guess distance finally played its part. I had some exams and we couldn't talk for a week because I slept early during that time, and then we chatted a bit last Monday before one of his classes. And after that... silence. I'm not sure whether it's because he wants to see whether I'll message him or because he's otherwise occupied or I am or both of us. Or maybe it's just the damn distance.
  I don't miss him that much, at least not in that over played, over dramatised way that is shown in the movie. The absence of our talks hits me subtly, when I'm alone, when the hubbub of my friends has died away, when I feel the need to shut out all the light and just let good music play, when I feel like swaying to its rhythm. His memory comes at the most quiet moments.
  In the silence.




@Bathwater: Leave your email in the comments below because when I go to your blog it opens up Outlook and I don't know how to use it (I did not forget you even if it seemed that way).