Fragments #7

For a blog that is called "Emilia's theories" this has very few theories.

Maybe I'll change it to "Fragments and theories"

Friday morning and I am alone. I wake up feeling L next to me, although the closest our bodies have been was when I was crying and he held me. The past few days I cry at night for no particular reason. I press the pillow to me, pretending it's him that holds me. We all need someone to hold us from time to time. And there's usually a particular "someone" we want.

It's Thursday evening and Tony has not come to the tango class. I feel disappointed. I call him afterwards and he calls me back. He says he didn't forget but he was training and because of the bad weather he couldn't reach the port. He'll make it up to me he says. I smile and say it's ok and tell him that they brought some dresses for the show of July.
  "How were they?"
  "They were... um... they were... bad. A lot."
  "Are these the ones you'll wear?"
  "God, no! They were some suggestions," I say as I cross the street.
  He asks me when my exams begin. Monday, I tell him.
  "Well, I'm gonna call you on sunday and wish you luck." I thank him and we don't hang up. We keep talking for a while and the discussion goes to his cats (no idea how that happened). We talk a bit more and then we both sort of have to go.
  "Talk to you soon."

  It's Thursday morning and during tutoring F touches my leg lightly with his hand. It was a signal about something the teacher said but it felt weird. He's been talking to me more now. Not sure that's a good thing. At night, after the tutoring (we had both in the morning and then after 8.30p.m.) F, the rest of the guys in my class and I order pizzas and beers. We all tease each other, in the comfortable way friends do. (We just hang out well that's all).
  Then later F texts me "If I insulted you, I'm sorry I got carried away having fun... You're not mad, are you?"
  I call him and ask what the hell he's talking about and he says nothing, it's just that sometimes he gets carried away and says bullshit.
  I think now he was referring to how he and M were teasing me about the unfeminine way I said something the other day. I was sleepless and not very graceful. My only answer to them was "I'm feminine only when it matters. And with those that I want to be."

  Wensday noon. We throw a surprise party at girl for her birthday over at her place, us the kids from the theatrical team. I ask a guy if the told L. He comes to me panicking few minutes later and tells me they forgot then proceeds to call him. He says he can come.
  I can be so sly when I want to.
  He came afterwards. He was with K at the kitchen and they were discussing about the upcoming exams. K left afterwards then Chris came for some water, along with this girl M. We somehow discussed height and M said that basketball has nothing to do with getting taller. She used to play and yet she's short. Chris and L joked about whether she was sure she was playing basketball and not football.
  "You know," I said as I poured water, "we're not experts but I think we can discern one sport from the other."
  "Very well," L told me, "What's offsite?"
  "Oh for fuck's sake you and the offsite. Why does everybody ask me that?" L laught and at that moment I was happy. Chris started explaining to me what offsite is and L left the kitchen, first squeezing my shoulder a bit as he walked by.

  I was sitting next to that girl, Dimi, who's L's friend, and we were talking. Before leaving L came and sat on her lap. They hugged and all the time he kept making funny faces at me.
  What's wrong with my taste in men?
  After he left I got out, at the balcony, passed by Chris and some other boy and went to the end of the balcony. I watched until his figure was out of sight. I then stayed there, feeling a soft breeze on my face. At that time I wanted to smoke. I don't even like smoking.
  After a while I saw Chris coming over.
  "Why are you sitting here alone?"
  "Too much noise inside."
  After that we talked for some time. About his dreams, about mine. Our families. Some guys called us, asked us what we were doing. Talking what does it look like? Chris's a cool guy. We kept talking and at some point people came to collect us. We're going out for drinks after the exams.
  Ire likes him. And she's definatelly coming with us for drinks.

  It's Thuesday night and I've come to collect Ire from her tutoring. L comes out along her and plays a bit with my dog. I hug Ire and beg her to come to school the following day.
  "It's the last day of classes! Our last day as students!"
  "Last day?" L asks.
  "As far as I know."
  "Maybe I'll come then."
  "Oh yes, do!" I reply enthusiastically, still holding Ire.

  The following day he came.