Fragments #6

It's Friday Night. Past midnight, I lay on my bed. The bedside lamp is on and a yellowy glow fills the room. Amy Winehouse is playing on my pc, softly. My limbs feel sore and stiff, I forgot to stretch after I played basketball during Physics class - I obviously diched the class. My cellphone is next to my ear on the bed and I'm speaking with Annie. she's reading to me some of the texts T has been sending her. It seems to me that he likes her but doesn't dare to say so outright.
  I'm trying not to think of L and I fail so I sip my wine instead. I feel lonely and tired and sad. I'm sleepy and my body feels heavy. I exchange goodbyes with Annie and go to sleep but to no avail. Sleep has abandoned me. I twist and turn on my bed trying, hoping, to lose consiousness. I decide to text Ellie.
  "Insomnia fucking sucks. Just saying." I type and then press send. And realise than I accidentally texted L instead of Ellie. I bite my lip to keep from screaming - mother is sleeping next door - and prey to God that he is asleep.
  He's not. "Huh?" comes the answer.
  I apologise quickly, explain that phones with a touch-screen are really stupid and text him goodnight.
  "Ok
  Goodinght!"
  comes the answer. I put the phone on my nightstand, turn around and fall asleep.

  It's Thurdsay and I'm at my tango class. My dance partner, Tony has his right hand around my waist and holds me firmly as we swirl on the floor and I fall agaist him as I'm supposed to do - thanks choreography - and re-assures me when I make mistakes. When we talk he makes me laugh and when we dance I blush (though not as much as I did at first). He even makes the thought of L go away for a while (to forget him completely is impossible) and he makes me laugh. Sometimes it's difficult, I wonder what it would feel like to kiss him, tango is difficult when you're lonely. He's 23 and I'm 18. The rest in the group are around 40.
  They calls us "the little ones".

It's Wensday night and I'm coming back from tutoring. And suddenly I bump into L. We talk for a while, he says he won't come to school again until the Exams, I tell him that I'll go on Thursday. It's late and I tell him "Well, goodnight then, I wouldn't like to keep you." He shrugs as if he's not tired and wants to go home. Afterwards I'm both sad and happy. Such a weird sensation.
  On Friday morning I learn that he went to school on Thursday.