1.4.12

Fragments #4

I'm drunk, slightly, but enough to be a bit dizzy. I can still control myself. I listen to music in the dark. Good thing I can't text him. Amy Winehouse is playing.

F kissed me on the cheek the other day and I felt nothing. And there I was hoping I was falling in love with him. And now I realise that I'm only seeing him in as a friend. And I think I'm fucking with his head.
  I'll deal with this when I have to deal with this. I don't want to lose him as a friend. He's understands me too well.

I've been writing some poems for L.
He'll never see them.
I dare say they're rather good.

I need to go to sleep. That's all I've been doing in the past few days. Sleep.

I need him and he's not there. To his credit, he doesn't know either.

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