Oh bollocks

  Do you ever feel so lonely so that you would welcome any touch - almost any?
  I always considered all those corny girls who had boyfriends just have a boyfriend silly and idiotic. And I still do. But at the same time, a strange envy overcomes me when I see them with their boyfriends.
  I never understood why exactly I don't have a boyfriend. I mean, I am rather pretty I suppose, I am smart, I have opinions. I like listening to people speak rather than speak myself. I am eager to help. Part of me though realises that it mostly because I'm propably not ready that I don't have a boyfriend. But I do feel ready.
  I feel as if a part of me is missing. Have you ever had the feeling, as if there is someone out there, looking for you and you for him, even though you have never met? Do you ever have this intolerable feeling of loss, as if a loved one has gone away?
  It is not so much my physical needs that torment me (though trust me, there are plenty of those) but rather the emotional ones. I donot need someone to tell me that he loves me. I need someone to hold, to embrace me. I need want this feeling of the other pressed against my body, holding me close. Someone who will be there, someone to lean on. someone who will lean on me.
  If I wanted some jock, just to fuck with or whatever, I could have gotten one. Pretty easily too. I am just not that girl who fucks around to feel complete. Not that I wouldn't sleep around if I felt like it (I still regret not kissing that guy back in Barcelona in that club).

 Fuck sentimentality.