I have the tendecy to become overfriendly when I meet someone and I happen to like them as a person (or for whatever reason feel guilty towards them or at ease with them). But try as I might I never seem to be able to recognise their boundaries. I always seem to cross some line that I had never seen in the first place and when I'm snapped back to reality I'm left reeling. I retreat back into myself and I try to squize everything in one little heart beating in my chest.
In truth I'm always alone. There are some rare moments when I'll forget that but that never lasts. I always remember that I'm either too much for others to stand or too little. (I'm usually too much but I feel too little). In all honesty, sometimes I just want to flip a switch and just sort of slip into a state of lacking emotions. I wish I did not care for people at all and that fantasies and books and music were enough but in truth they're not.
It's all or nothing with me and I've realised that I'm letting tango take up too much of my time. I just need to step back for a moment and recollect myself. I should just give a little bit of my self to things and people and in reality give nothing of my self. Otherwise I give them more than they care for and I need to be reminded that not everyone is interested in anything more than an acquintance.
It makes me sad sometimes. I tell people that the reason I've never been in a relationship is that it just hasn't happened but perhaps the reason is that there's something wrong with me. Maybe I need to lose myself a little.
Maybe I don't care to keep me anyway.
There is nothing wrong with you, parish that thought. Don't close yourself off from others completely. Sharing is a give and take. Offer a little and see if they give you some confidence in return. Continue until you develop the relationship you want or that the other person will allow.
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήYou always have the confidence of those who read what you share here.