*

Grandma's back is turned to me.
She breathes heavily in her sleep
I wonder if she's dreaming.
I smoke silently by the window
the city lights of a foreign city
in a foreign country
music
and cigarette smoke
my sole companions.
She knows
and yet it still feels like a secret.
I smoke only behind her back.

Damn it
I'm getting mixed up over here
slightly emotionally involved.
I do not know
whether I'm merely slipping into intimacy
or I'm developing a crush.
I always tend to wonder
why people
let me in in their little universes.
It touches me deeply.
All I know
is that I have one month left
in that home of mine
and I want to spend the time we're left
with you.
I'm ready to pay for the consequences of that
but I've never asked
are you?

Tenderly,
Bug