28.4.14

Diary excerpt

[...] I felt something in that instant, I am not sure how to describe it, I grab for the words but they are just not there. I struggle to form them with my lips but my lips are numb, and so,  beyond my control. But it was as if at that moment an electrical current striked me, deep within me, I felt a sharp twinge in my heart.

No reason, I told myself as I scrolled further, no reason to be influenced, there's nothing new there, nothing to see, nothing that is my bussiness to mull over, nothing nothing nothing.

Where does this obsession end?

This ought not to hurt anymore. (Except I'm not precisely hurt, nor envious. It feels more as if I am in a parenthesis that everyone overlooks, unable to get out of the brackets.)

It feels like I can't outgrow myself. Like I'm stuck in phases. It's like T.S. Elliot said"
"Some things take root 
in the brain and just don't
let go."



(Written in my diary in the early hours of dawn, posted unedited).

1 σχόλιο:

  1. you are right. the words to describe "this" are always fleeting. perhaps because something with this kind of magnitude is it's own thing, like no emotion or painting or song or words or poem or anything can say it just right... sometimes close, sometimes it can almost touch it... but never exactly.

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