Alarmed

I've been feeling
                        alarmed.

  I was so annoyed yesterday at your absence. I had been certain that at some point I'd catch a glimpse of him among the others, casually leaning against the piano or the bar and drinking his beer. So certain, so certain that as the time went by I kept feeling more and more annoyed and, if I am to be completely honest, worried and disappointed at his absence. Having not seen him for over a week I miss the buzz he gives me, the way he riles me up, the way he places his hand on my arm or my waist, the slow way he leans in to kiss my cheek. I just kept glancing over my shoulder at the exit.

  I'm alarmed because I give him too much importance. Alarmed because he shakes me out of my daily boredom. Alarmed because I want to unnerve him to the point I render him speechless. I want to make him blush. 

  Alarmed because he makes me feel more like a predator rather than someone who just wants to be in love.