Calmed and detached

I thought about it.
I thought and thought.
I talked about it.
On
and on
and on.
Of the distance,
your girl,
our mutual silence.
I hate it all.

I decided

to give it up.

To stop
asking,
on the inside,
for you to return
feelings that you cannot give back
at the moment.
Maybe you don't feel them.
Nevermind.

I'd rather
we talk,
I'd rather
settle
and be "friends",
I'd rather you trust me enough that you can tell me

"I need you.
I want to see you."

If you ever feel that way.

I'm going out with a guy tonight.
Maybe he'll occupy my head just enough
to trick myself
that I don't miss you as much.