You.

  (Sometimes I feel ridiculous when writing here. That people will judge me as weak and a crybaby. That I keep talking about guys.
  But then I realise that this is merely because that's the side of me that I want to express in this blog.
  So I don't care really.)

You.
You came unexpectedly.
It's less than a month since I met you,
and we spent together less than two weeks.

And in that time
you gave me

everything.

I've never felt so loved
or happy
or content
as when you looked at me.

And you didn't even fuck me.

You kissed me properly once.
In the end.
I think
you waited
on purpose.

Because you knew.

And sometimes I wonder
whether you think of me.
Then I remember
your girl back home,
how you said
you think you're in love
for the first time.
And I know
your thought rarely flies at me
and I smile at that.

She may hold your heart
but for a time
you gave me
everything.
And I never thought
I'd get as much
from anyone.

I've never connected
so fast
and so deep.

I miss you
I crave you,
your words
your eyes,
your beautiful,
beautiful sad mind,
the light kisses you planted on my cheek,
surprisngly fast,
as if
you couldn't help yourself.
Your honesty
raw and naked and bared
ensnared me.

I enjoy our conversations
perhaps more than I should.
You helped me recover
myself
from the darkness
I had let my self fall in.

You're the first one
I'd like to have in my life
in whatever way
you can be in it.
I told you,
I'll take anything
you want to give me.

You're the first person
I don't want to talk about much
because I'm scared
of people
spoiling my memory of you.

Your dear ghost.