Heavy

These days
my legs hurt
and my soul
is soaring.

I feel
I'm acting
at time.
I feel
that
maybe
I forgot how to dance.

But

I'm more
terrified
that
I've forgotten
how to live.

Days are empty
and nights
more lonely still.
I try
to find myself
now that I still can.

I feel like
I'm on recovery.

My plans
for the future year
are
to be as busy
as possible.
Busy enough
that
I will keep going
until exhaustion
drives my mind
my limbs
my lips
into heavy sleep
and I'm no more,
I think no more
and insomnia
stays with me
no longer.