*

I guess
the worst part
is just how ridiculous I feel
how insecure,
how much I want you to care.

I wonder
do you even notice
when we do not talk?

I wonder,
do you ever even miss me at all?

I hate myself
for all this emotional weakness.
I feel like
fucking anyone I might fuck
until my body's numb,
my heart alseep
and the brain
cares no longer.