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  I have made a promise to myself that I will write more. Be it here, be it elsewhere, with this name or another, I have resolved to write more. When I'm not writing I feel as if I lose sense of my self little by little. Like everything become's unreal and too distant, I feel even more of a spectator thaan I usually do, too much of an outsider in my own life.

  It's not exactly that writing helps me make more sense of things. It's just that I can always go back and pick up the train of though I had then,  a train of thought that is no longer, maybe I can understand who I used to be better, see where did things change, where I chose to turn a blind eye or where I was an obnoxious asshole (I would argue that I was, and am, often). It's also evidence in a way, memory is always distorted, and while what you write down is never the pure truth, it's part of it and that is the closest thing I can have to proof that those moments existed and they were not a daydream or a nightmare, or an idea when I drunk or high. I still catch myself wondering whether childhood memories are true or not. After all, repeat a story enough time to yourself and it will replace the actual event.

  Just in the same way that photographs replace our memory.