Quiet

I sat in my chair
shivering.
There are some times
when I really trick myself
into believing
that if
just if
I can freeze myself enough
the numb part might not hurt.
It's all so quiet.
Like I'm not even there.

I went out with someone today.
I had high hopes
I might wanna fuck them.
But I did not.
I don't think
I was made
for this love game
or anyway
I'm not ready to play.

Please don't let me fall in love.


(Maybe that's why
I fell in love with you.
Because it was doomed from start
I didn't risk getting
what I wished for).