You make me go empty.

 Dear X,

  When I see you, it is as if you're tugging every emotion in me, wrenching it slowly from my heart. I feel as if I could suffocate in you, get lost in you. I feel like you're overwhelming me again, bluring what is right and wrong, bluring what I want, what I should want. It is as if you're there solely to hurt me.
  I want to
joke with you in the school hallways
hold your hand
kiss you
rip that stupid pink jacket you have that doesn't you in the least
have your fingertips caress my face
feel you under the blankets
to drink hot chocolate with you one lazy Sunday morning
look at you and not hurt
have an "us", even for a while
exchange stupid cheezy songs with you
get drunk with you in the beach, at summer, under the stars
hold you under an umbrella
have you text me for stupid random little things that you just had share with me
hug you again like that day when I was crying and though you asked me whether I had been moved you had said to someone else before that I you were sure I hadn't, that I weren't ok
solve math with you
discuss books with you
cuddle under the blankets and watch Game of Thrones with you
you
you
you
you

get over you
forget you
never see you again 
let go

let go

let go


  Sometimes I wish I had an accident that would erase some part of my memory. Your part.
  I cannot wait for the end of the school year. At last, there will be an end.