Every day another desire

I feel
the pulse of him
in me
filling up
before the skins touch
before the bodies crash.
If desire has a smell
it's already
in my nostrils
making me dizzy
from afar.

Ways to self-destruct

The way to self-destruct
is to live two parallel lives
and let the one overwhelm
the other
Where you let the imagined freedom
catch your reality by the throat
and bleed into it,
just to point out
all the ways
it drowns you.

Of course
sometimes
the ways you self-destruct
reach out a hand
that grabs
and saves you.

I am
for I chose
small, eroding, self-destructions
over eradication.